THE SIMPLE THINGS

 I miss my simple former life.

When the most challenge I had was passing exams. When I could decide to not go for lectures for a day and just get much needed sleep. When I chose whether to go home on many a free weekend or just hang out with friends.

When I had at least four meals daily (Yup I'm like that). When I'd visit friends in their rooms in the hostel, chat all evening, plan for events we'd attend.
When I had holzz and could spend them at my sister's with her beautiful kids and play all day and sometimes all night lol. Or at home with my folks and siblings and gist and eat delicious food prepared by mummy.

Or attend the annual family get-together and see my cousins. We've all grown apart now. Or even watch TV! Follow the programs and live shows and reality things they show now.

Now I have to "chase blood" for patients, give intravenous medications sometimes as many as four times a day per patient, and there are lots of them! Write up rounds every morning and evening for each patient, take their blood samples for lab tests, sometimes their urine and stool too, even when I'm not in the mood. Keep setting and resetting iv lines, run after some nurses to do their jobs and follow instructions...the list is endless.

As for watching TV, that hasn't happened in the last month. And the last time before then was three months ago!

Then there are the life issues. What area to specialize in, where to do residency in, even who/when to marry! How many kids to have, set goals and future projections for the next five, ten years...worry that I'm not doing enough and my "mates" have gone far ahead of me in arranging their future and working towards it...eessshhhh!!!

But no one forced me here, to do this. To become a doctor. In fact I was deterred from being one at a point. I worked hard and fought against forces to be here. But now that I'm here...sigh. I guess I'm only human.

I could choose to do this and not kill myself, figuratively speaking, as some others do. But any of those patients could be my relatives in some other hospital, with other doctors treating them. I'd like to hope that they'd treat them as conscientiously as I do my patients, here.

But it's a hard life. Working with the pittance of a salary, poor hospital conditions, nonchalance on the party of management, under mostly terrible senior colleagues, ah! Frustration is an understatement. And later they'll complain in Community health class about the "brain-drain" of Nigeria .i.e. that most professionals especially doctors are leaving country for greener pastures abroad. Smh

As for the life issues...well I'll just continue doing the best I can and hope that they sort themselves out. No need really worrying about tomorrow, I'll just take it a day at a time. Hell I didn't even know I'd eventually get here anyway!

Rant over. I've been called and chosen to do this. And I dare say I'm good at it, great actually. And I will continue to the best of my capability, so help me God.

But I miss the simple things.